50 Questions

The following is only 50 of the questions I've been accumulating in my head about Christian culture. Other people have dust bunnies behind the couch - I have Killer Zombie Dust Bunnies from the Black Lagoon in my head. Go figure.

Pleae - don't think of these as criticisms. Think of them as conversation starters.

1. Why don't we give church members keys to the kitchen?
2. Can we throw more parties?
3. Is this Fair Trade Coffee?
4. Do you know how many people say, "how are you?" and don't listen to the answer? 
5. Are you one of them?
6. I'm coming back to the heart of worship. I'm sorry Lord, for the thing that I've made it. Did I miss something or is that song still all about me?
7. How many people in the congregation on a Sunday morning have the gift of preaching?
8. How many of those people - gifted for the edification of the church - get to preach?
9. If God has given each believer a spirtual gift, and all those many and varied gifts are intended for the edification of the church, why does our church practice bear no relevance to this fact whatsoever?
10. What would happen if there was no big building for us all to go to on Sunday morning?
11. Can a coffee shop breakfast with the guys still be church?
12. It's Sunday morning and the worship band is struggling. Am I going to be okay with that?
13. Why does every event have a guest speaker?
14. If I only had 12 people in my congregation, and one of them ends up turning on me, one of them flat out denies he even knows me, and the rest bail out just when I need them most... would my ministry be a success or a failure?
15. Are you as tired as I am of being called a 'sheep'? Actually, I don't mind that so much, it's the 'stupid, dumb sheep' part that kind of bugs me.
16. How is it that nobody likes a gossip, but they hardly ever gett called on it? Tell a dirty joke at the church social and get told right then and there. Gossip all day long and... nothing. And no, I don't want to tell them, either.
17. Why is bigger better?
18. Green Prosperity Hankerchief. Need I say more?
19. Millions of immigrants coming to our country every year, and every single one of them needs Jesus. Has a more glorious opportunity ever been so inelegantly squandered by the church?
20. If our entire bible consisted only of the four gospels, how would our religion look today?
21. Why don't we stop explaining our faith to atheists? Yes - my faith is completely, totally and absolutely irrational. That would be the 'faith' part. Duh.
22. Of all the sermons about forgiveness you've heard, how many times have you seen a preacher stop and say, "Okay, this is how you forgive someone...?"
23. Why Thomas Kinkade?
24. Is playing cards still a sin?
25. Have you ever heard someone pray and they say something like, "...and Satan we bind you from blah, blah, blah..."? Everytime I hear someone do that I want to stop them and ask when they started praying to Satan.
26. Sometimes I also have to ask... Are you praying to the congregation?
27. And then sometimes I also want to ask... Is this a prayer or a sermon?
28. "We thank you father, that you, father, have blessed us father, that you loved us father, and that, father, you are here with us now father." Why do people pray like that?
29. I have yet to be at a congregational meeting, church business meeting, elders, deacons or committee meeting of any kind that does not open with a devotional message from the bible. Does anyone else find this odd?
30. And is anyone else no longer surprised at the number of times that devotional message is about unity?
31. If a church event is meant to be an 'outreach' to our friends and family, shouldn't we be going to where they are? If not, perhaps we should change the name to 'inreach'.
32. We went from old hymn books to new hymn books to song books to overheads to Power Point. What's next?
33. Wooden pews. What were they thinking?
34. Remember bus ministry?
35. Everybody at church knows what the rules are, everybody knows how to behave, what's expected of them. No-one ever sat you down and said, 'these are the rules...' but you know them anyway. How did you learn the rules? Of course, you can't really understand this question until you get a bunch of folks together in a street church, where no-one knows how to behave in church...
36. Here's a little game to play. Sit in church. Pick a man or woman - someone you sort of know, but don't know real well. A Christian person. A nice Christian person. Ask yourself, "If they fell off the wagon and ended up downtown, living on the street, sleeping in their own urine and vomit... would I go get them?
37. Would any of us go get them?
38. Or would that be the pastor's job?
39. Why are we afraid of art?
40. There's crackers in the communion plate. Is it just me or...?
41. Why do missionaries always live somewhere else?
42. There's a guy outside of town with the words, "Jesus is alive" painted on his roof. His neighbour has painted the words, "So is Elvis" on his roof. Which guy would you rather have a beer with?
43. Rich Christians are blessed by God. Absolutely destitute Christians must live on faith for their every need. Which is better?
44. Which is better when you haven't eaten in three days?
45. Why do all our pictures of Jesus look like us?
46. You have a Christian Fish on your car. What are you attempting to communicate, and to whom is that communication directed? Why? Okay, that's three questions. So sue me.
47. Why is it that none of us can walk to church?
48. Why is there a copyright on bibles?
49. When will we stop praying for revival and start living like the revived?
50. Where do we go from here?

Thanks for reading everyone. Now, let's close in prayer...

Comments

[Anna]

So I don't know if you really want answers to all those in your comment boxes. But, for what it's worth, here's my answers.

1. Some do have the keys. Some don't need them.
2. Yes. Do you want to?
3. Probably not, unfortunately.
4. A lot.
5. Sometimes, although I try not to be.
6. I don't know that song. But yes, it sounds like it's still all about the singer.
7. I don't know.
8. Not enough.
9. In order to appreciate the spiritual gifts that are given for the edification of the community, there must actually be community. Very, very few congregations these days have gone past friendliness and comraderie into a real experience of spiritual community. Community involves making ourselves vulnerable, and Americans really aren't into that.
10. A few would probably start gathering in people's homes, for some intense worship. Many - possibly most - people would consider God even less than they already do. Is it worth the price? I believe there must be a way to call people back into a more complete discipleship, a more complete union with fellow man and with the Divine, without destroying the fragile, incomplete structure we have now.
11. Sure. Any gathering of Christians can be church. But it doesn't replace a communal gathering dedicated to worship of God. (And communal worship doesn't replace times of friendly gathering).
12. Struggling musically? spiritually? If you can do something to relieve their struggles, then do so, even if it's just praying for God to help them. If you can't help them, why worry about it?
13. Cultural habit. Do you think it's a bad one?
14. I'm not sure success and failure even really apply to ministry. As long as you are doing everything you can, and loving as you ought, then what you do is a success, even if everyone rejects it. (And short-term rejection is even less of a consideration in evaluating success as long-term rejection is).
15. Sometimes. But Jesus did start off by calling us sheep. If people imply that that means that we are dumb or not free, then I'm free to ignore that opinion of theirs.
16. I have trouble telling when chatter turns into gossip (malicious). And I don't like to scold anyone on anything, most of the time.
17. It isn't, generically speaking. But sometimes biggness can be good, too.
18. Never heard of it.
19. My church has services in Spanish; it's set aside specifically to serve the Hispanic community in the area. But yes, this is an area where Christians really need to improve on.
20. Incomplete. What we would be without the post-Gospel explanations of the purpose of the Crucifixion, its saving power? What would we be if we didn't know of Pentecost, if we hadn't heard Paul speak of freedom from the Mosaic Law, if we didn't have the hopeful images of the afterlife, if we hadn't read the passages that explain how to deal with suffering? What problems we have stem from paying too little attention to the Bible, from not applying its message to our lives, or from misunderstanding it.
21. "Irrational" usually means it contradicts reason. Our faith doesn't contradict reason, it extends beyond what reason can tell us. Colossians 4:6 and 1 Peter 3:15 both encourage us to answer those who ask us about our faith. Sometimes we are strident instead of gentle in our answers, and sometimes we try to push our answers on those who have not asked about it, which can be a waste of time, which I think was what you were trying to get at.
22. How do you explain forgiveness? Don't we all already know what forgiveness is about, for the most part? I have heard a few preachers try to explain it, maybe with a few examples.
23. Who is Thomas Kinkade?
24. Gambling can be a sin, when it gets destructive. But I think the people who thought it was a sin, in and of itself, were wrong. And not everyone thought it was a sin.
25. In Matthew 4:10, was Jesus praying to Satan? How about at the end of Matthew 8? "Praying" can mean simply talking to... or it can mean worshipping. Do you really think that the person who tries to bind Satan during a prayer is guilty of worshipping Satan?
26. Similar to 25... people might address the congregation in a prayer... but do you really think they are attributing to the congregation the power of God?
27. Heh. I've thought that before too.
28. Beats me, I don't remember anyone praying quite like that.
29. It seems very fitting to me that any meeting of Christians, even for a commonplace, practical purpose, should begin with a prayer to God. If that happens to include devotional reading, I probably wouldn't object. But then again, I'm not on many committees.
30. Haven't noticed that.
31. Yes and no. The ultimate object of outreach is to bring people to God and into the community of worshippers. This process generally needs to start by going where they are, but the goal is usually for it to end by having them come to worship with the worshippers.
32. I don't know, we still use books. If business execs start using something other than Power Point, the churches will probably eventually follow too.
33. What else would you use? Wood is sturdy, long-lasting, about as affordable as seats get, and people can be packed on them as close or far apart as is needed.
34. No
35. I learned the rules from my parent, as a child. People who are brought into churches are usually taught them by whoever brings them into the church. And newbies will usually be cautious and imitate everyone else until they feel they got a handle on them. But not always.
36-38. If I didn't know them real well, I don't know how I would find out that they were living on the street. If we had more real community, it would be less likely to get that far in the first place, and more naturally resolved.
39. Ever heard of the iconoclasts? These days, a lot of churches avoid art because someone's going to come along and make accusations of idolatry, based on passages like Leviticus 26:1. I think it's all a lot of nonsense; having religious art isn't the same as worshipping that art.
40. I think bread works better than crackers; it gets us more fully into what we're doing. But then, I think that regardless of how it feels, what's passed out during communion is the real Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus. If you believe that, why worry if it looks like crackers?
41. I think "mission" has roots in some word meaning "sent out", and you can't be sent out to here. But yes, we forget that we are all supposed to be missionaries.
42. I wouldn't drink beer with either, because I don't like beer. The Elvis one is funnier, but I kinda think that anyone silly enough to paint words on their roof is probably pretty interesting to hang out with.
43-44. Neither. St. Francesca saw a vision of Jesus; "Some people, [Jesus] said, give up all their worldly goods, but do not cherish poverty as a virtue. Their poverty is external. Others make sacrifices in secret and are therefore much beloved of God. But the one who offers up the whole self to God, embracing with joy whatever happens in one's life, and trusting confidently in God's bounty, has chosen the most excellent way." I think that says it pretty well, even if you don't believe in visions.
45. Here in Portland, Oregon, there's this place called the Grotto. Among other beautiful things, they have this small chapel with images of Madonna and Child from history; there's an African one where they're both black, one in the Renaissance style, one in the Greek/Orthodox icon style, etc. If you've heard the story of Our Lady of Guadalupe, then you've heard of Mary appearing as a native Indian to Juan Diego. Christ transcends culture; picturing him as one of us makes it easier for people to accept him, and there's nothing wrong with that. (Although, ultimately, we too are called to move beyond our culture in our attitudes).
46. I don't, but if I did, I'd be attempting to communicate that I love the Lord, to anyone who might be inspired or encouraged to know that.
47. I can. I do, sometimes, too, although sometimes I don't. I often feel guilty for not walking to Church all the time, especially times when I don't think I had a good enough excuse to drive. It's something I'm trying to work on. On a wider level, it takes a certain number of people in order to financially support a church building and a pastor. Most places don't have enough members within walking distance to be able to afford any building at all. If we could heal the denominational splits in the Body of Christ, then people might all be willing to go to whatever church is closest to them, within walking distance, instead of driving to whatever one "fits" them.
48. Because the people who put all that money into printing the Bibles want to stay in business.
49. The two are not mutually exclusive. As for when you live like the revived, that varies with each individual. Are you revived? If so, live like one.
50. Pray, listen to your conscience and act on it. If you think God is calling you to something in particular, ask him what it is and be alert for his answer. And then do it.

[reesta]

Oh man, I laughed so hard at your questions cuz they're all so true! Then I felt sad cuz churches today have so little relevance to real life and being Jesus to a broken world it's depressing and people are living lives with no hope and no one to bring it to them...but then you know you are preaching to the choir with moi. Love ya, bro!

[david]

So well put - so many of the same questions I have had as well.I laugh at them when no one is looking.

But I'm even more amused that your first comment is a list of answers. Isn't that the way, hey? Sigh. When we are comfortable enough with the questions that we just let them hang in the air without shooting them down and forcing them into resolution, that's when our faith will become honest, humane, and humble.

thanks for this post.

[Mike]

Great post, too bad about the answers.

[[rhymes with kerouac]]

Anna - Thanks for taking the time to answer all of those! A couple of your answers really caught my eye but I'm going to need to think about them for a bit....

reesta - We have a unique perspective due to our work. That perspective might be categorized as, I don't know... warped maybe?

david - Actually, it might be interesting to hear some folks chew on a couple of these...

Mike - C'mon buddy, play nice!

[Heather]

Hmmm. Great post. Lots of very excellent questions. Rather than clogging up your comments section I've replied in a post of my own. http://deconstructedchristian.blogspot.com/2007/07/50-sort-of-answers-for-rhymes.html

[david]

I'm all for chewing.

[David Best]

damn funny! damn true! must link

[Mike]

Chewing is good... but not rushing to answer. Trying to be nice. Actually, I'm not. I'm more interested in being truthful!

[nancy]

How are you?

[amber]

Great questions. I laughed till I cried at a few. I find church amusing and also sad. Last night 6 or 7 of us met an hour or so before the service to pray. Simply pray. At the altar. 30 min. before the service peple started to arrive and were really freaked out. They didn't know what to do. One of the ladies praying with us asked if we should move to another location. I said, "Well, this is the sanctuary and this is the altar and I thought this was what it was to be used for. Seems to me it should be OK to pray at the altar anytime." We knew we were making people uncomfortable. I've yet to hear if anyone was really ticked off by it. I imagine somone was. As I left the sanctuary early to meet with someone, several people asked me if they were allowed to go into the sanctuary because people were praying in there. It was out of the oridinary and they simply didn't know what to do. Too funny. With your permission I would love to use this post in a class at church.

[[rhymes with kerouac]]

Heather - I had no idea how many of my points were peculiar to either the Canadian church scene or my own denominational tribe until I read your post. Amazing; a real eye-opener for me - thanks!

david - Me too!

David Best - I'm glad you saw some of the humour in it too!

Mike - I know, I know... ;)

Nancy - On the mend, thanks!

amber - Post away. It's amazing how much of church is predicated by routine, isn't it?

[joanee]

I must be weird ,I go to Church to praise God ,get refuelled by the message .I look at Church as a meeting place for believers who should take what they have learned there ,to life outside the Church .New believers should be decipled where ever ,your home ,their home ,coffee shop, where ever they are comfortable .Then they will want to come into The Sanctuary.I like the scripture that says "I was glad when they said ,Let us go into the house of the Lord " Different Churches practice different gifts ,God has provided for each of our gifts if we want to use them .I think if you took a new believer to 3 different Churches they would be so confused they would avoid Church .A believer need a real infilling of the Holy Ghost to understand the different ways of worship .If you have that God will steer you in the right direction and you will be glad to go into the house of the Lord .Just my humble thoughts for what they are worth.

[Anna]

Mike (and david),

What was it about my answering, exactly, that you did not like? Did you not like that I tried at all to answer the questions? Would it have been better if I had left off the less serious answers and the "I don't know"s? Did you object to the content of my answers? Was it only the timing of it? Did I really sound like I was trying to shoot down the questions?

For the record, the questions that I took most seriously touch on issues that I have been chewing on for some years now. They're good questions, because they deal with a problem that I consider very real.

[~m2~]

these are the types of posts i don't normally read, but i read yours because i knew they'd be both interesting and thought-provoking. you never disappoint.

and love the echo from joanee - one of my favorites muses, at this point.

(my answer to "If they fell off the wagon and ended up downtown, living on the street, sleeping in their own urine and vomit... would I go get them?" -- i vote *yes*)

[V.]

so, I was biking along today and I wondered what a 'not-church' would look like. Was there really a 'church' in Acts, or was it just a bunch of people getting together?

I bet they didn't have a structured prayer time / worship time/ offering time. I bet somebody different led it each week (and I bet they weren't somebody who was all that educated when it came to the scriptures).

I'm wondering if my husband, who has some issues with 'church' would be able to feel like he could be himself and talk about his thoughts and struggles without someone there feeling like they needed to give him an answer.

All things I wonder.

great post.

thanks,

(google this: "Magna Carta of Trust by an Out-of-Control Disciple")

V.

[Deborah Hooper]

These are great questions! Exploring the answers will mess with some folks' theology, won't it?

[nancy]

Your co-bloggers Mike and David appears to have hurt Anna with their comments on your post. I am sorry that Anna had to read those comments about her post. I thought that her answers showed that some of your questions have a lot of weight attatched to them for some people. And in asking them you are bound to get different responses. It is too bad that some responders have to feel superior to others.

[beth]

Great questions!
No interest in reading anybody else's answers. I assumed they were rhetorcial.

[[rhymes with kerouac]]

joanee - Making disciples is really at the heart of the matter, isn't it?

Anna - Well said. A couple of your answers were rather thought-provoking, actually, and it was only in reading through your response (as well as Heather's) that I realized how many of my own questions were peculiar to my own situation and not universally applicable. That was a bit of learning experience in itself.

~m2~ Somehow that doesn't surprise me about you! (And I'm glad you had such a great time at the wedding!)

V. - It's surprising how many men have issues with church - and on how many different levels and in different ways that's manifested. It's particularly difficult to discuss these things with happy church goers because everyone wants to explain how you feel - or why you shouldn't feel the way you do. Sometimes it helps just to say it out loud. And I loved the Leonard Sweet thing, BTW. The Resident Love Goddess bought Soul Cafe for my years ago but I don't remember the Magna Carta. I'll have to dust the book off and read it again.

Deborah - I hope it won't mess with anyone's theology. I'm only asking about the things that are cultural about church. It's part of my own process, I suppose, of examining what church is - and isn't - and what it could be.

Nancy - I rather wish that hadn't happened, also.

Beth - Actually, I was hoping to start a discussion of some kind... That's the kind of thing I enjoy most.