I had a conversation tonight with a guy whose been coming to our public meals program. I asked him how he was doing and he said, "not so good." He goes on to tell me that he's still using. I ask a few questions. We talk. Turns out 'still using' means that he smoked a joint this morning. Okay, where he's come from, smoking a single joint is something that needs to be seen in perspective. He's been clean four months. A recovering addict won't have their life 'stable' in anything less than 18 months. This is a life-long journey, and he's a long way from the streets of Toronto, a long way from prison and a long way from where he used to be. He tells me that he's afraid to die with a single sin still on his conscience - if he does he won't get into heaven. He tells me that he tries to read his bible but that every time he does he gets terrified. He sees how good and pure Jesus is and knows he can never live up to that standard. He confessed this to a priest who told him to quit reading the bible; he confessed the same fear to an evangelical minister who then heaped more guilt on him.

I don't want to fix this or that anymore. I want to change the world.