Faith
March 12, 2008 I had a conversation tonight with a guy whose been coming to our public meals program. I asked him how he was doing and he said, "not so good." He goes on to tell me that he's still using. I ask a few questions. We talk. Turns out 'still using' means that he smoked a joint this morning. Okay, where he's come from, smoking a single joint is something that needs to be seen in perspective. He's been clean four months. A recovering addict won't have their life 'stable' in anything less than 18 months. This is a life-long journey, and he's a long way from the streets of Toronto, a long way from prison and a long way from where he used to be. He tells me that he's afraid to die with a single sin still on his conscience - if he does he won't get into heaven. He tells me that he tries to read his bible but that every time he does he gets terrified. He sees how good and pure Jesus is and knows he can never live up to that standard. He confessed this to a priest who told him to quit reading the bible; he confessed the same fear to an evangelical minister who then heaped more guilt on him.
I don't want to fix this or that anymore. I want to change the world.
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Reader Comments (19)
OK, I'll be nice now. Its just so hard.
You are changing the world, my friend.
Lorna - Yup.
Ed G. - The journey of a thousand miles begins with getting off the couch!
Barbara - It doesn't much feel like it :(
HeyJules - I thought you were the American Branch Office...
1 - Thanks...
beth - There you go, with all that 'following Jesus' stuff again...
Mike - My sentiments, exactly.
having them encounter the Christ in you.
i believe it was Ghandi who said, "Be the change you want to see in the world."
Most people are so beat down by their sins.. they don't need any help from us to beat them down some more.. they just need some love.
Kansas Bob - Very true - I see folks who are beat down by sin every day. My prayer is that I can introduce them to the Jesus of hope and the God of great power, that they might know both love and life... but that's easier said than done most days.
It's all so overwheming at times.....
I met with a young man last week who seems to have been skinned alive experiencing horrendous abuse throughout his childhood and it has impacted every day since. He now lives isolated in the woods away from all other human contact because he doesnt trust anyone including himself.
And yet he needs human contact.....to heal.
He talked about wanting to go to church but because of what he has done in the community, he isn't welcome. He stated that he believes in God........ After a long discussion, I gave him a bunch of pens and a coil book to take home with him...... and suggested that he begin writing his story..... one thought at a time. I told him that God will be present as he writes to heal.
It was the best that I could do.......
I wanted to do more.
But, you know........and I think you know this because of the experiences you've had working at the Mission with the same people I work with..... most days we can plant seeds, show our non-judgemental compassion and pass on our human touch.
And then hope for the best.
Starting there
LOVE LIKE HIM,
G.B.U.
Michael <>< <>< <>< (pray for each other)
but we do not see what God sees
and it is probably for the best
but we would like to be the one to choose
what things would be best
and what things would be big and awsome
and instantly life changeing
so that we could see our power
so that we could see our work
we would like to see what God sees
but God wants our trust
it is He that knows the worth of us
and the worth of what we do
it is God that does the work
that we do not see
and it is so hard to understand this
to remember this
when things look dismal and unchanging
when the things we do look small
our work
is to Love God
and one another
and that looks different to all of us
but we do not see the whole picture
we do not see
but we know
we know