Today there was a full staff meeting at the Mission. We've been in financial distress for some time now, and management and staff have been standing on their heads to make it work. Today we learned that is no longer possible.

Barring a miracle, the Mission will close its doors on June 30. They will never reopen - the buildings and assests will be sold to eliminate our debt. Staff were given notice today.  Yes, God is in the miracle business. Please don't go there in the comments - I haven't the heart for it. It may, in fact, be that God would be doing us, our clients and our city a disservice by providing such a miracle. My feeling is that the old models of funding and operations don't work. Providing funding for the homeless and poor has no upside for government - given their real agenda - and none for the churches in our city either, given theirs. The support just isn't there anymore. Relying on foundations and grants require that all the management resources go into proposals - and our purpose then becomes about getting grants. Given the broken funding models, the existing structure may, in fact, be preventing us from moving forward into God's promised land. We may be witnessing the dying off of the old generation, the old ways of thinking, like the Israelites wandering in the wilderness until the generation that knew slavery, that secretly longed for the safety and security of Egypt had died. Perhaps this is our Jordan River, raging with flood and storm, while Canaan waits beyond.

But that's then, this is now.  And right now... well, who knows? I have no idea what happens next, have no idea where I go from here. No clue. I've dreamed of our public meals program for years and now all that's left of that dream is a little wift of smoke where the dream used to be. Not to mention paying the rent. The Resident Love Goddess gently says, "God has always looked after us," and I look at her and wonder how she does that.

Yeah, I know. God is on his throne and all that... but it still sucks.