God, Please - No More Lessons
May 16, 2007 Today there was a full staff meeting at the Mission. We've been in financial distress for some time now, and management and staff have been standing on their heads to make it work. Today we learned that is no longer possible.
Barring a miracle, the Mission will close its doors on June 30. They will never reopen - the buildings and assests will be sold to eliminate our debt. Staff were given notice today. Yes, God is in the miracle business. Please don't go there in the comments - I haven't the heart for it. It may, in fact, be that God would be doing us, our clients and our city a disservice by providing such a miracle. My feeling is that the old models of funding and operations don't work. Providing funding for the homeless and poor has no upside for government - given their real agenda - and none for the churches in our city either, given theirs. The support just isn't there anymore. Relying on foundations and grants require that all the management resources go into proposals - and our purpose then becomes about getting grants. Given the broken funding models, the existing structure may, in fact, be preventing us from moving forward into God's promised land. We may be witnessing the dying off of the old generation, the old ways of thinking, like the Israelites wandering in the wilderness until the generation that knew slavery, that secretly longed for the safety and security of Egypt had died. Perhaps this is our Jordan River, raging with flood and storm, while Canaan waits beyond.
But that's then, this is now. And right now... well, who knows? I have no idea what happens next, have no idea where I go from here. No clue. I've dreamed of our public meals program for years and now all that's left of that dream is a little wift of smoke where the dream used to be. Not to mention paying the rent. The Resident Love Goddess gently says, "God has always looked after us," and I look at her and wonder how she does that.
Yeah, I know. God is on his throne and all that... but it still sucks.
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Reader Comments (24)
When a lovely flame dies, smoke gets in your eyes.
You did what you could do and yes, it completely sucks.
Have you heard of the New Monastic Movement RWK? I know at this time it probably seems like BS,and its heart wrenching..The promised land was never connected to any kind of empire, bee it Egyptian, Roman, or Capitalism. Which is why Gods people have always needed to move or be moved to dry the empire out of them.
What breaks my heart is that those of Gods Children in the urban wasteland that we have read of your serivce and love to so many times, will now be missing someone like you in their lives. But perhaps this awful death will lead you to a fuller, deeper expression of that lov and service.
i know
just words. Its all ive got.
i am so very sorry.
Bless you all.
Unfortunately, the Church has too many self-absorbed a-holes. So, I won't hold my breath.
may you know comfort and peace in the midst of this turmoil. you have a beautiful heart...may it continue to beat with passion - either for this group of people, or for the new ones on your adventure forward.
Five loaves, two fish...it's a start!
On the bright side, in my experience Resident Love Goddesses are generally right.
The problem with the Jordan River analogy is that those crossing it could see the other side. The loss of a job is bad, the end of a ministry or a dream is worse. But the not knowing what's next is the worst.
Just remember that something is next. God's always moving someplace and the time will come when you will see it and you'll climb right on in and everything that you've learned and experienced and lost will inform your new path and you'll get just the tiniest little hint of the possibility that maybe God just might have the itti-est, bitti-est clue what he's doing. And it will blow you away.