Complicity

What if we all just stopped pretending?

What if?

I can't do this without you. I'm not going to make it. Don't leave me. I'm scared. I loathe and despise what you do. I'm angry. I want to go with you. I do have something to offer. You have something I need. We're together. We're apart. I'm alone. I'm being smothered. I don't know how to do this. I'm lost. Help me. Carry me. Here, let me carry that for you. I can see you're hurting - I'm hurting too. I matters. It doesn't matter. I really, really want to start painting again. Where have you been? Where are you going? I don't know what happens next. I'm not afraid. I terrified. I'm filled with joy whenever I'm here. My heart sings. My soul is heavy. I have a mental illness. It's hurts to hear you say that. Your jokes aren't funny - they're racist. It was my mistake. I want to dance. It really wasn't my fault. I did have a choice. Why didn't you fight for us? I can't shake this sadness. I can't wake up. I look in the mirror and see some woman I hardly know. I look in the mirror and see memories of the man I used to be. You're so beautiful. You did a really good job on that. That was wrong. This is wrong. This feels so right. I don't have any control over this at all. I've never had any control over this. I have control over this. I'm afraid that if you really knew me, you wouldn't want me around. I still dream of being in a band, and I'm afraid to let that dream out. I admire you. I'm intimidated by you. That hurts - it really, really hurts. I'm not the person you think I am. I can't continue to be the person you want me to be. I don't know where to begin. I don't know how to stop. I don't know who I am. I just want to go home. This place is my home. If I'm not perfect you won't love me, and I need you to love me. I'm afraid to say no. I'm afraid to say yes. I'm trapped by my fear. I love you...

What if we all just stopped pretending?

There is so much fear and pain that binds us, so much joy that awaits us, so much life to be so much more abundantly lived, and there waits Jesus, on the other side of our cell doors, on the other side of life and death and truth or lies, on the other side of the illusions we let bind and keep us, that smile playing at the corners of his lips as he wraps his arms around us, his warm moist breath whispering, gently, lovingly, I am the way, the truth and the life...

Isn't it about time we stopped pretending to be alive? If He is our life, isn't it about time we started really living instead? Come Lord Jesus, and show us The Way...

Comments

[Michelle]

My sister and I were talking about this very thing today. Imagine the freedom that comes with being real.

I think we miss God's voice when we live with masks.

How can we know if He is moving us on, for instance, if we never admit we don't have peace or enjoy our work?

[Barbara]

I'm linking to this today. This has been something I've been thinking about A LOT lately too! Fear & Pain. Joy. Abundance. Living in Him.

[Brian Buriff]

Soon I'll post a sermon snippet on this very subject. In the OT (Exodus 34:35), Moses wore a veil to cover "the glory". But in the NT (2 Cor. 3:7,13), there is a strong suggestion that he continued to wear the veil long after the glory had faded. Hummm - pretending to be something we're not seems to be an ancient art.

[Larry]

I had nothing to lose. So I just told God to do what he waanted, but I wasn't going to put up with lies, deception and churchly terminology. Let's have it out right here and now, ashes or life. Turns out that God wanted me to live and took me at my word. "You want truth? Here it is." I'm still here but it's a pretty lonely path. I still have no patience for fine words and baloney.

[HeyJules]

I've found that realness begins the day we accept Christ and grows slowly from there. I've set down many "illusions" of who I thought I was over the past year and continue to find more and more areas where what I'm showing to the world isn't what I am - but I keep on walking. I keep on peeling back those layers. I keep on trying to find the woman Jesus made me to be.

If you know of a short cut let me know 'cause this "getting real" is some mighty hard work, my brother...

but it's also so very, very worth it.

[[rhymes with kerouac]]

HeyJules - Trust me, there's no shortcut... and you really wouldn't want one, anyway. You've grown so much, and you are so in love with Him... In the meantime, here's a radical thought... what if you already were the woman of God He wanted you to be? Think about it, everything you ever needed is already in Christ, who dwells within you. And the journey now might not be about obedience to God, but about being vulnerable in Him. Okay, okay... I'l quit now!

Michelle - You know, I never thought about it from that perspective before. And you're absolutely right - how would we know?

Barbara - There seems to be a lot of people thinking about this.

Brian - I'm going to be watching for that... I looked up the verses you mentioned and, I gotta tell ya, I never saw that before...

Larry - I hate living with loneliness. I kept thinking that God was doing this thing in me, and that there was no-one I could talk to. I went to a conference called 'Cultivate' last summer and found myself in a room full of people who felt exactly the same way I did. It blew me away - that there were so many others on the same path. So when you said it was lonely that really resonated with me. Which leads me to ask... what can we do to make it less lonely?

[karen]

i wish everyone could read that. thanks again.

[Michelle]

I've never commented twice in the same blog before... Rick's words to Jules resonated with me, though...

Just wanted to remind you all that we are ONCE santified at the time of our re-birth.

But then we are in a PROCESS of a different KIND of sanctification for the rest of our lives.

So, success is in the journey, not the end of it.

Success is realizing we are frail and useless, save for the mercy of His redeeming sacrifice.

Without the shedding of blood, there is no remission of sins.

Imagine. We are vicariously sinless!!

To learn to walk in victory is a lifelong process. God is pleased with perseverance. Perseverance IS success.

I sound like a motivational speaker! Tony Robbins look out!

[bjk]

Then we'd all be 'naked' and you know when you're naked someone is going to.....the whole of being naked and in the nakedness not caring who else is naked...my problem is I want us all to BE naked and THEN I'll do it...He wants us naked now....

[Kelly]

this was a really great, and needed post.

loved the line, "your jokes are not funny--they're racist."

[[rhymes with kerouac]]

Michelle - Success is in the journey, indeed!

bjk - I think everything in the kingdom is the exact opposite of what we expect. We think being honest means being vulnerable when, in fact, it brings us such great freedom - even strength.

Kelly - Yup. There's more than one line that's come out of my own experience - and that's one of them. One day I just thought, why am I laughing at this?

[lorna]

awesome post!

The comments spoke and ministered to me too. Thank you all.

[HeyJules]

RWK, I will certainly take that under advisement. Thanks for the beautiful reply.

[Mike]

Regarding the last line of the post...

I think he has shown us the way. We just don't like the scenery along the route.

[[rhymes with kerouac]]

lorna - It's always a pleasure to have you visit!

HeyJules - Life is unfolding exactly as it should. Isn't it beautiful?

Mike - True - on every level - so very true.